I want a love like Johnny and June....

....But maybe not for now. I listened to a guest speaker at work today. Her words inspired me. She talked about the pressures of everyone else and the thought that you must be married at a ceratin age in Utah. And with six of my sorority sisters (yes six, almost seven. may as well be half the chapter) engaged, for like five seconds (ok, more like 2 minutes) I felt "the marriage pressure." Then today in the car my aunt tells me that at her age she was married with her second child. My grandma chimes in and says she was married and pregnant with her third. And my mom at my age married with my older brother and me. And there comes the pressure again, the marriage pressure. You all know what I'm talking about. But anyway, back to the guest speaker. She said she had this thought. She didn't want to be "normal." She didn't want to be like everyone else. What if they are the boring, weird ones? So for now, I don't want to be the majority. I want to be me with my life. I got a new car. I have two decent jobs. I have two amazing sisters who will go on crazy adventures with me to deliver water to a boy who doesn't deserve my good intentions. And I'm finally over Jake. Like really over jake. But I still have a little bit of a broken heart (not from jake. the dumb boy who doesn't appreciate water deliveries like he should). Ok, but here is the whole thing about wanting the love like Johnny and June. I want it, but I tell myself I don't. Cause with this new guy it could have totally been that. And here is the thing. He doesn't deserve me. But I deserve him. But that doesn't change the fact that he fed me the "lets start out as friends cause I can't handle a mature relationship like ours right now" line. Oh yeah. So the heart, a little broken. And I'm the one facing it, the only person who will and can pick up the pieces to fix it. So for now, no love. Just a lot of band aides.