And that somewhere is here in Logan, Utah in the freezing basement of avalon hills. It is five in the morning and I for some crazy reason thought it would be a good idea to work swing shift last minute. So here I am bored out of my mind when it dawns on me.....create a blog. I have always had this strong dislike for the whole idea of blogging. Then I thought to myself I have another hour to kill and my life is HILARIOUS. If my life were a tv show I would watch it. SO why not read about it? SO I have succumb to blogging....everyone get excited. Today I realized that I don't like to care. Caring leads you to worry, which leads to concern which can lead to his uneasy settling that won't go away. It is true. I have allowed myself to care again. For a good year I only cared about one person, shutting every other guy out. Once I realized the ridiculousness of caring for that guy, I said screw it. Why care? So I stopped caring. And now I have allowed myself to care again. I have opened up my heart, yet almost without my permission. Why does your heart not listen to your head? I felt I had this mastered until just today I realized that I am completely screwed. I have allowed my heart to take over. And although this idea of falling back in love is amazing, it is scary. "The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds." So now I am contimplating my situation. Do I allow myself to jump in? He says yes. Just let it happen. My heart says yes, but my head says no. Which will win?
No comments:
Post a Comment